Potty training, the two words every parent cringes at. I am a mom to an almost three-year-old that has been potty trained for about four months now. I don’t claim to know everything that can be known about potty training. I am not an expert, but I’ve had my fair share of potty training days before I had my son.
For five years before I became pregnant my job was to educate little minds. In those years not only did I enjoy loving and teaching each child; I have also learned a few tips and tricks that helped me potty train, my own little man.
1. Showing An Interest
First things first, you can not force potty training on any child because it will backfire and blow up in your face. Your child’s actions should tell you that they are ready. If you’re unsure what that looks like here are a few helpful hints. If your child is asking to sit on the potty, they are most likely ready. Or showing an indication that they are starting to understanding how their body works and are hiding from you when they need some privacy is another significant indicator.
2. Be Gentle and Patient
Remember this is all new to a child. Going on the potty for a child is like us learning a new language. If you remember anything, remember this – they will be potty trained, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It just takes work to get there just like everything else we do, but those sweet little faces need some grace – I mean don’t we all?
3. Pull-Ups and Underwear
I am not a fan of pull-ups, and I might get some hate on this, but the reason being is they are too close to diapers. (The only time I suggest pull-ups are when they are napping or sleeping at night.) They technically are a diaper they just have a fancy line that shows your child that they have failed. I know some of you moms are like, there is NO way I am going to let my child run around my house with underwear and pee all over my rugs, floors, etc. which leads me to my next point.
4. Be Prepared
Buy lots of cheap underwear, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent (because you will be doing lots of laundry) even disposable gloves if you have too. There will be accidents and many of them. Take about five to seven days where you can consistently be home with your child. I say that because you will be more aggravated if you are trying to go out to the store and now have to figure out the potty training situation. Let’s face it, you will most likely throw a diaper or a pull up on them and head to the store. It’s easy and convenient for us but confusing for a child.
Lastly, potty training your child after their new brother or sister has arrived is also a terrible idea and will cause meltdowns for everyone. I suggest waiting a good four to five months before starting when you have a good healthy routine on your hands.
5. Timer and A Potty Chart
Get a little timer that makes noise so your child can hear it go off. If you have a hearing impaired child, you can use lights or vibration tools that will have the same effect. Start at fifteen minutes. Will your child have to go potty every fifteen minutes? No, but we are teaching consistency, children thrive off of that. Eventually one of those times your child is going to pee on the toilet and maybe on the floor too. That’s okay though! Don’t worry there is a light at the end of every tunnel. And, remember you’re speaking a different language, and they are just learning how to communicate.
Day two your child will have a good handle on the timer aspect of things that’s when I would increase the time to thirty or forty-five minutes and continue the potty training.
Days four through seven will be the same expanding the timer to what you feel is comfortable for your child. Reminders are needed! Children get distracted, and so do we, that’s why timers are good for everyone!
Potty charts are fun and easy! I like to make my own but if you are not a fan of making your own Amazon and Etsy have a few cute ones. I typically buy stickers that are relatable to my child. If your child likes cars, trucks, dinosaurs, princesses then gear their chart towards what they love. The dollar store has a ton of sticker options, and they are cheap!
Get a basket or a bucket and buy a few toys (also from the dollar store) fun items that your child is interested in. For example, my son likes trucks, dinosaurs, and Mickey. I found a few trucks, a sling dino, and a Mickey Mouse puzzle. Let your child help you choose the items they love and explain to them they get to pick one of these fun prizes each time they go on the potty.
Set up the chart for a week at a time, you don’t want to overwhelm your child (even though you might be overwhelmed just reading this). When they have successfully peed, and I mean it could be a tiny drop, or filling up the potty you give them a sticker. Let your child be a part of the process as much a physically possible. Allow them to place the sticker on the chart, give high-fives! Once they fill up the slots, they get to choose a prize from the bucket.
6. Get EXCITED
I know you’re probably thinking, “Chelsea all of this sounds like my worst nightmare. Why would I ever be excited about this?” Children are beautiful human beings, and they thrive off of your joy and excitement. The first time they pee or poop in their potty, your reaction should be the same as the tenth or twentieth time they do it. Why? Because it is exciting! Your child is learning new things and growing bigger each and every day. All along this process, tell your child that you are proud of them, proud to be their parent!
Your reaction during potty training can help or hurt whether it will be a smooth transition or not. It is in your control because children thrive off of our attitudes and responses. Have you ever noticed how your child reacts when you raise your voice? (we have all done it!) They can get timid or scared and or stop in their tracks. When you communicate with your child in a fun, loving and exciting way when they are learning a new concept, they will respond so much better than if you were to get angry and frustrated, and telling them “you know better.” It will only make them shut down, want to hide, and quite honestly they lose their respect and comfort in you.
7. It’s Their Home Too
If you are not a fan of a naked butt on your couch or on your area rug, then explain to your little one where they can go instead of telling them where they can’t because they will, in turn, go where you told them not to. Why? Because you brought it to their attention. Just redirect and show them where they can play remaining comfortable in their own environment.
Give your child a place in the house they can call theirs. A space you’re okay with cleaning multiple times a day before they get the hang of things. Where there are toys, books, and activities to keep them busy (I’m a huge fan of sensory buckets) that way, they don’t feel like a stranger in their own home. Put items there that you don’t mind washing a bunch either. And whatever you do – refrain from using the word don’t.
8. Talking With Friends and family
As parents sometimes we long for talks with adults when we have been communicating with children all day. As much as you want to share your potty training extravaganza keep that talk to a minimum or not even at all when your child is present. This can cause them to get embarrassed, think they are failing, or because you are sharing stories, they might get the wrong idea.
For children attention is what they strive for, negative or positive they seek it. When you are chatting about the big poop incident that happened over the weekend, and your child is seeing your friends laughing and reacting that sends your little one the opposite message of what you want. That tells them that their behavior (good or bad) is something you will talk about and bring attention too, which in turn those poop incidences might happen more often. Why? Because you have shown them that it’s funny and you brought attention to it. Don’t get me wrong sometimes we have to laugh so we don’t cry, but try to stay away from teaching your child that it’s funny.
Share their successes, not their failures! If you are to share anything share the stories of how they went potty, or how many stickers they have received for the day.
Let’s face it sometimes we need a good laugh. If you are to share the crazy stories wait and share those when your child is out of sight or make sure they are in another room where they can’t hear you. That way they don’t get mixed signals, making your potty training journey that much smoother.
9. Constant Affirmation
When your child is officially potty trained (they will still have accidents here and there) remember to tell them how proud of them you are and how happy you are to be their mom or dad. Children seek that love and attention and just because they have mastered something doesn’t mean they don’t need you to reaffirm and tell them that you are proud. I promise it will make them smile!
10. Go With The Flow
Being a parent is the most gratifying, most humble and hardest job. Potty training is not a walk in the park, but it is beyond rewarding when your child and yourself have accomplished something so big! There will be hiccups along the way, you will get agitated and feel like it’s never going to end, or feel like your little one is doing this all on purpose. I assure you they are not and they will succeed! Be proud of how far they have come and how far you have come. You are not their parent by accident so enjoy all the messes along the way because you will look back on these days and reminisce.
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